Matte ii Masu
by Tsukishin-sama
Summary: My poor attempt at a songfic. Kagome's contemplations on the relationship between Kikyou, Inuyasha, and herself. Oneshot.


Disclaimer:  I don't own Inuyasha and co.  They belong to their rightful owner, Takahashi-sama.  I don't own the song 1/3 True Feelings from Rurouni Kenshin.

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    _Even if my love reaches the breaking point, 1/3 of it won't reach_
    
    _My true feelings are just spinning on air; my heart isn't even saying, "I love you."_

He's just sitting there like nothing happened.  I don't get it.  Inuyasha… is he just going to pretend that Kikyou didn't do anything?  Wait, what am I saying? Of course he isn't going to suspect Kikyou.  Once again he is going to overlook the possibility that it might have been Kikyou who attacked me.  She is the one who stole my shards, my soul, and Inuyasha from me.  
    
    _On the long, sleepless nights, the images I send to you _
    
    _whisper, "That is love."_
    
    _Continuously shaking speech that moves you to tears _
    
    _changes into a slight fever mingled with a sigh._

Inuyasha… he isn't really mine no matter how much I wish it was so.  His heart still belongs to her…I am only seen as a copy.  I wish just once Inuyasha would see me for who I really am: Higurashi Kagome… NOT Kikyou.
    
    _Give me a smile and shiny days, by your smile_
    
    _I can withstand the cold of a frozen night._

I remember that night in the woods… when Kikyou and Inuyasha kissed.  He looked so happy.  He is never that happy around me.  The way he smiled at her… I wish he would show _me_ that smile even once.  Yet, his eyes, ears, heart, and soul are all still forever focused on my incarnation.  It hurts.  It hurts to see the love in his eyes whenever he thinks of her.  It hurts each time he looks at me and only sees her.  I love him so much that it hurts, and yet he doesn't see it, see me… and my love.
    
    _Even if my love reaches the breaking point, 1/3 of it won't reach_
    
    _My true feelings are just spinning on air, my heart isn't even saying "I love you"_

But then, so very rarely, just for a second, I see the worry in your eyes when I'm hurt and the smile of relief when I survive each battle.  It gives me hope.  Maybe, just maybe… you feel something for me.
    
    _Like rain in the middle of summer, the dry, bareness moistens, your smile is bright._

Such a small gesture, it almost escapes my notice.  As long as there's hope, I will always wait for you to see me for who I am.  The day that you say goodbye to Kikyou and finally live, free of the burden of your past…that is a day I will wait for.
    
    _Give me a smile and shiny days, don't clear up so quickly!_
    
    _Because we can overcome any wall that stands in our way._

I long for you to see me.  My love for you is so strong, I feel I can overcome the toughest demons just to be with you.  Although you only see Kikyou now,  I know that you are starting to see me, too.  I know that you love her and not me.  It kills me every time I hear you say her name, every time you compare me to her.  But… every time I say nothing.  I know you love her.  I know that you have eyes for her alone.  I just wish that you could love me.  Just once… I wish that you could love me just one time.  I never voice my love out of respect for Kikyou, but I wish you would see me… see how much I love you… see that I would do anything for you…
    
    _Whoever you love, these images will reach them, right?_
    
    _Don't say you can find them, your words are dancing in space._
    
    _The further apart you go, the more it hurts the person you love_
    
    _The more I chase them, the more my heart feels the cruel distance_

I will wait for you, Inuyasha… knowing, even so, that you might never return my love.  I can only hope that you will see me.  I can only wait for the day that might never come.  I can only love you, knowing that you don't even feel the love I offer to you.  But someday, you might.  Matte ii masu… I will wait.  I will wait for you…
    
    _Give me a smile and shiny days, _
    
    _Give me a smile and nice days, _
    
    _If only we could meet in an embrace..._
    
    _Whoever you love, these images will reach them, right?_
    
    _If only you had said so in your dreams_
    
    _Even if my love reaches the breaking point, 1/3 of it won't reach_
    
    _My true feelings are just spinning on air, my heart isn't even saying "I love you."_

Forever, my love…

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a/n: Well, that's it.  I know it's corny and the song was totally unrelated, but I am very, very, very, very, very, very, very bored.  Well… please r/r!  No flames, please.  If you're gonna criticize me, then do it nicely.  Ja ne.

R/R Please! 


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